slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
