Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
