Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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