I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
