he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
