thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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