she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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