Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
