I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
