how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
