Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
