i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
