I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I FOUND THE LEGS
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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