i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
