she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
