How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
