i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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