she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
