i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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