Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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