New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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