R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I skipped work to stalk him.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
