After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We don't watch enough power rangers
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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