he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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