Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
