He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
