As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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