she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
