I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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