Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
