sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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