one might say we're banned from that church
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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