Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
