I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
