The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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