He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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