that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
