What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
