"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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