Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
