how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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