help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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