question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
