they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
