after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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