I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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