since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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