He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
