i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
