drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
